Motto and Seal

This represents everything our utopia stands for. Transylvanians are encouraged to speak out in their community, to step up and make changes where they feel the need. They don't sit around and wait for someone to come along and help set things going - they always take the first stand. Transylvania doesn't dream about being a perfect society - it is one. The emblem of the fairy is because it's half human and we want our citizens to know that they are each as special and unique as any mythical creature.

Transylvanian Animal

"The unicorn is the only fabulous beast that does not seem to have been conceived out of human fears. In even the earliest references he is fierce yet good, selfless yet solitary, but always mysteriously beautiful. He could be captured only by unfair means, and his single horn was said to neutralize poison." - Mariana Miller (The Unicorn and The Lake)

Unicorns are beautiful, unique, and independent creatures like the people who inhabit Transylvania. They are free, and as the excerpt above said; selfless and good. We want our utopians to carry traits of this animal by being kind to everyone, and true to themselves.

Citizens Journal

Today two new people with misdemeanors joined our gardening team. One of them was in such a hurry not to be late to work that he passed by a little old lady struggling with her groceries and got sent here for a week's worth community service. We're not really sure about the other one, though.
A lot of the first timers just see this as an easy term - they don't realize that it's an actual job. You have to make sure all of the rose bushes are getting enough sunlight and water, and you must carefully inspect each bud to make sure it's blossoming correctly. Trimming the hedges presicely takes much practice as well. I take this all very seriously, after all this is Transylvania and what sets us apart from those other uncivil, dirty cities is the great pride we take in our community. Every street is landscaped beautifully, and that doesn't just happen overnight.
Me, I started out community service as a penalty for littering - but after a while being able to contribute to the beauty of the city really grew on me, so I talked with one of the Governors and my old boss and got a permanent job doing it.

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Transylvania is for all of the people to break away from ties of materialism and start fresh in a place where they can ride their bikes down the street without seeing billboards and posters telling them what they should act like or look like in order to be a perfect person.



Transylvania is a safe haven for people to express their individuality and live their lives free without any scrutiny from the media. Never will we condemn an idea because it does not fit the ''standard''.

Average Itinerary

7:00 a.m. ~ Transylvanians will wake up and perform daily preparations for work or school. (Showers and breakfast)

8:00 a.m. ~ School begins.

8:30 a.m. ~ Ault work day begins. Schools and places of work operate on different schedules to insure that work does not conflict with a parent's ability to make breakfast or help pack their child's lunch.

10:00 a.m. ~ Community service workers get water and restroom breaks, as well as people in the public humiliation shackles.

12:00 p.m. ~ The lunch break for adults, recess and recreation time for students.

12:30 p.m. ~ Students return to class.

1:00 p.m. ~ Workers return to their jobs.

3:30 p.m. ~ Students board their buses, and depending on age, head to the day care center.

5:00 p.m. ~ Adults get off work and may head to the day care center to pick up their children.

6-9:00 p.m. ~ Homework, dinner, any free time leisure activites are performed, and generally Transylvanians will go to bed around 9 to be well rested for the day ahead so that when the weekend comes they can stay out all hours of the night.

Letter To A Friend

Dear Squidward,
I'm sorry to hear restrictions where you're living have become even more unbearable. We'd be happy to have you join us in Transylvania. Here no one minds if you practice your clarinet too loudly or if you play with leafblowers. Everyone is different, and everyone respects eachother's differences. Our governors don't just pass laws like no instrument tuning past 6:30. All the regulations are reasonable, and citizens have the power to pass or veto a proposal, therefore having the ultimate say in how our city is run.
You wouldn't have to worry about your problem with hair growth - nobody looks the same, and things that might've been considered flaws, like baldness, are highly admired for their individuality. I'm sure you'd love to show off your musical genius at the summer festivals. It doesn't even matter that you play like you have asthma and can't hold a note for more than 3 seconds, the folks here will love that.
You should visit sometime. You could really use a break from Tentacle Acres, and I'm sure once you visit Transylvania you'll never want to go back to that boring life back home.

Best Wishes,
Allison Schueler

Citizen Journal

This past weekend was one of the most bizarre and extraordinary I've experienced in Transylvania. Once a month during the summer season the town holds a Transylvanian Culture Festival, where citizens gather in the central park and boldly flaunt their individuality. There are lots of performances from practicing magicians and musicians, and all kinds of artwork. I was absolutely intrigued by a middle eastern glass blower and her stand of colorful glasswork. The festival showcases everything from shoelace collections to beat boxers and fruit sculptures. It really opens your eyes to the city's quirks and all of the unique characters that inhabit it.

Citizen Journal

Today is the morning of the last Friday of the month, which means today all of the citizens of Transylvania will be excused from work duties at their given times to proceed to the voting halls. It's actually a pretty straightforward and easy process, you enter your ID pin into the computerized machines and they display the governors' proposals of the month, which you can either select to pass or veto. There's been a lot of controversy surrounding Governor Bond's prison proposal. Personally, I think our society's better off without prisons. Why should the bad eggs get to sponge off of the resources us good people produce? The way I see it, the best punishment for a crime is to send someone back to the uncivil world from which our peaceful society is immune. There's no room in our society for criminals. I felt proud as I pressed the red veto button, truely feeling as if my oppinion counted towards the benefit of society.

Declaration of Independence

Whatever happened to the right of the pursuit of Happiness? In today's world this is a right many people forget they have, or feel is unaccomplishable because people are taught that the more money you have in the bank the better off your life is. People are so caught up in trying to move on to build biggest skyscrapers and own the nicest houses and cars they don't even stop to consider the difference between what it is that makes them happy or what it is that society tells them should make them happy. Most of the crimes today are bred from materialistic greed. When someone's shot down in the street for the contents of his wallet, that's a sign that society needs a serious priority check.
We want to make sure Transylvanians have a sense of independence and the drive to work for what they truely want.
In Transylvania citizens will have the right to vote directly on the issues that will affect them as a community instead of relying on a crooked politicians to make desicions that generally are not for the interests of the public. We are a constantly evolving society that is bent and shaped to fit the needs and reflect the will of the people.

Government

In Transylvania we believe in a place run by the people. When only one person holds power, this can lead to corruption and selfishness and this is the very thing our society strives to stay away from. The citizens will elect a small group of 7 people who oversee the community and come up with laws, rules, or programs that are beneficial to Transylvania and that citizens can vote on at the end of each month. These governors can contribute for 2 years, at the end of which a re-election will take place. There may be a special case where the people impeach a governor, if a petition of 1,000 people is imposed. The town will then take a vote on whether or not the person may keep his position, or be forced to resign. Citizens can make complaints or suggestions at any time by dropping off a letter to the government building at the center of town.

Court Systems

The founders of Transylvania agree that our society needs a fair justice and political system for everyone. We believe many people are cheated from a fair trial because in America it's all about who can afford the best lawyer or whose lawyer spins the best story. Transylvania lets the people settle their own law suits by taking matters into their own hands through A MARIO KART RACE. Instead of hiring some shady lawyer you hire a team of mechanics to build a racing cart. The city has its own model race track and places where the town can gather to watch the event. Whoever wins the race gets custody of the cat, or gets the charges against them dropped.
A set prize is established before the race - an agreement between the two parties involved and a judge; such as a price estimate for damages in the case of the plaintiff winning.

*Note: This is only for civil vs. civil complaints. More extreme cases like murder, or fraud are tried before a judge and the defendant has the right to present evidence, allibis, and testimonies.

Crime & Punishment

While we do appreciate all forms of art, inappropriate grafitti artist found advertising violence or negativity must pay the total cost to repair the damages and put their artistic talents to use for the good of the community by painting murals that spread good messages.

Littering is disrespectful, and we take great pride in caring for our community and keeping it in top shape. Anyone found littering will maintain the community for 2-6 weeks, depending on the severity and offenses, by mowing, trimming hedges, and picking up trash all over town.

Thieves are subject to the public humiliation shackles in the center of town for a week, with only 2 half hour breaks a day for food, water, and a restroom break. Three time offenders will be excommunicated from the city.

Fraud is not tolerated under any circumstances. Anyone caught trying to cheat the community out of money, or to get into power will be excommunicated immediately.

Police must be held accountable as well, and if an officer is found using his uniform to boss people around or discriminate they will be removed from the force and must find another job.

Any theaters caught showing Jim Carrey, Twilight, or Will Ferrell movies will be immediately suspended (closed down) and must pay the city back the profit they made.

Anyone caught wasting Jones will be sentenced to work in a Jones Soda production factory for 2 weeks where they will stay on the property and will be given only rice cakes and water so they can learn to appreciate the delicious sacrality of Jones.

Extreme crimes like forced fornication or the involuntary death of another at your hand will result in the death penalty; death by electric chair.

If someone's in need it is your duty to stop and help. It goes against the morals of Transylvania to pass over someone whose car has broken down, or who's in need of medical attention. Anyone found guilty of not following Good Samaritan law must serve a month of community service, and 1 day in the public humiliation shackles.

Lumberjacking inside the city limits is a strict regulation. Not only are our people unique and special, but so are our plants. We don't want to succumb to the greed of other societies, bulldozing nature and land just to build a megaplex mall. Trees may only be cut down outside of the city in the allotted harvest areas, and a seed must immediately be replanted in its place. Workers who violate this law will be suspended for a week without pay, and must serve that week doing community service yardwork.