Crime & Punishment

While we do appreciate all forms of art, inappropriate grafitti artist found advertising violence or negativity must pay the total cost to repair the damages and put their artistic talents to use for the good of the community by painting murals that spread good messages.

Littering is disrespectful, and we take great pride in caring for our community and keeping it in top shape. Anyone found littering will maintain the community for 2-6 weeks, depending on the severity and offenses, by mowing, trimming hedges, and picking up trash all over town.

Thieves are subject to the public humiliation shackles in the center of town for a week, with only 2 half hour breaks a day for food, water, and a restroom break. Three time offenders will be excommunicated from the city.

Fraud is not tolerated under any circumstances. Anyone caught trying to cheat the community out of money, or to get into power will be excommunicated immediately.

Police must be held accountable as well, and if an officer is found using his uniform to boss people around or discriminate they will be removed from the force and must find another job.

Any theaters caught showing Jim Carrey, Twilight, or Will Ferrell movies will be immediately suspended (closed down) and must pay the city back the profit they made.

Anyone caught wasting Jones will be sentenced to work in a Jones Soda production factory for 2 weeks where they will stay on the property and will be given only rice cakes and water so they can learn to appreciate the delicious sacrality of Jones.

Extreme crimes like forced fornication or the involuntary death of another at your hand will result in the death penalty; death by electric chair.

If someone's in need it is your duty to stop and help. It goes against the morals of Transylvania to pass over someone whose car has broken down, or who's in need of medical attention. Anyone found guilty of not following Good Samaritan law must serve a month of community service, and 1 day in the public humiliation shackles.

Lumberjacking inside the city limits is a strict regulation. Not only are our people unique and special, but so are our plants. We don't want to succumb to the greed of other societies, bulldozing nature and land just to build a megaplex mall. Trees may only be cut down outside of the city in the allotted harvest areas, and a seed must immediately be replanted in its place. Workers who violate this law will be suspended for a week without pay, and must serve that week doing community service yardwork.